As I have put words to these different anecdotes and stories about the kids, it has occurred to me more than once that someday, in some way, Ana and Yoseph will read these. I wonder what they’ll think about them. I hope that they will see how much I loved them from the beginning. I hope that they will find the humor in the stories heart-warming. I hope they will see that we try to focus on the fun and the sweet and not the hard days or the meltdowns (though there are some stories about those, too).
But I want them to know that I will remember so much more about their childhood than just cute stories and heartwarming moments.
We share custody 50/50. It’s the best arrangement possible in our circumstances. I want the kids to know that sometimes their dad misses them so much, he is moved to tears. When we have to go for a stretch of several days without seeing them, he mopes around the house, missing them. I want them to know that when he can’t stand it anymore, he reorganizes work meetings so that he can pop in at the school to share lunch with them–and that he is such a happy man as he recounts those lunches to me in the evening! I want them to know that even after they’re tucked in, their dad goes in to check on them at least twice, rearranging blankets, stroking their hair, and whispering words of love to them for so long that he nearly wakes them up. Seriously. He just loves being around them so much. I want them to know that even when they’re not at the house, we talk about them all the time, wondering how their days were, what they ate for lunch, what they’re doing in math that day, who they played with at recess. I want them to know that the evening before they come, we are in a flurry of excitement, preparing the house for them, planning meals, writing out the activities in the days ahead on the chalkboard wall.
I have always loved the little saying, “The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” My dad modeled that well, and Tim models that well in our house (maybe we will needlepoint a pillow that says, “The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their StepMolly”?). But wow…it makes you fall in love with your husband daily when you watch him love on your children in such a powerful way.
We are blessed.